View Full Version : Aus-tra-lia

12.05.2003, 17:08
These questions about Australia from potential visitors were posted on
an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual response
by the Aussie website.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit
around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking>>>

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I
follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and
addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia?
Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,
Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo
racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the
middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross.
Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us
when you get here & we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir
plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after
the hippo races.
Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of
youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy).
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

16. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney & is milk available
all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter
gatherers. Milk is illegal.

17. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia
who can dispens rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU
come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless,
can be safely handled and make good pets.

18. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in
Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear
and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called
because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains
of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them
off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go

19. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact
the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross.
Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

20. Q: Will I be able to speek English most places go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

12.05.2003, 17:28
Klischees und wo sie hinführen.

12.05.2003, 19:51
Jupp :wink: